Med School Secret

It's not my secret, but it is how I feel.

My cadaver was named Oscar by the members of table 14.

Pre Christmas Rundown

Ok, so there will be 2 weeks left before my next round of tests. Seeing how I am 2 weeks behind, that gives me 4 weeks of ground to cover in 2 weeks. So, my rundown of the next 2 weeks will go like this:
Nov 29-Dec 5: frantically catch up in microbiology and pathology. This may include foregoing transcriptions and ppts and just using rapid review and clinical microbiology made ridiculously simple. Also need to go over all pharmacology and do notecards for appropriate drugs. Must do some work for the ACLS project also (read: busywork)
Dec 5-7: up in the air, have a friend coming to town so I'll study when I can and just enjoy having company over the rest of the time.
Dec 8-12: study like a freaking madwoman. This includes going over notes and any new material. Old tests will become the main way to hone my study material to the bare minimum.
Dec 15-19: test week
Dec 21-23/24: Dallas

So you'll all understand if I become scarce these next few weeks. I am incredibly burnt out, so I can't wait for my friend to come so I have an excuse to not study. But it also means I have to get it in gear so I can afford to take off the time. I wish everyone luck on the tests, and I hope we can all keep it together for just a little longer. because then we'll be on Christmas break.

Over and out.

Day to Give Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there in blogworld. As tradition, today is known to be the day that we all think about what we are thankful for....TURKEY. No, but seriously, we are so blessed to live in this country and have all that we do. So I wish everyone a glorious day, have fun with friends, family, don't curse too much at the football game, try not to slip into a turkey coma, be safe on the roads and in the airways as you travel, and for the love of all that is Holy...HOTTY MUTHAFUCKIN TODDY. BEAT STATE!

So, without further ado, I'm going to make a list of some of the things that I am thankful for, even though I bitch about all of them.

I am thankful for still living at home. It means that I have a family that is willing to support me and help me in any way they can.

I am thankful for my father. He was very strict as I grew up and even to a point now, but it shows I have a father who loves me and was committed to raising me to be the person I am today.

I am thankful for my mother. Her constant brooding means that she will do anything in her power to make me happy and will do anything for me.

I am thankful for my bitchy sister and her two out of control children. It means that I have one sister who is there for me and a niece and nephew to spoil rotten.

I am thankful for my overprotective brother. I am thankful I have one big brother who is always there for me.

I am thankful for Jill and her son Jack. It means that my brother has finally found two people that make him happy. And that makes me happy.

I am thankful for Uncle Tony, Aunt Rosa, Robert, Anthony, Sebbie, Sam, Jessica, Miranda, Philip, Arielle, Mackenzie, Seven, and Liv. They mean that I have a piece of my family again.

I am thankful for having no life due to school. Because it means I am living my dream of going to medical school and becoming a doctor.

I am thankful for my big ass. It is there because I have enough food to eat.

I am thankful for our government. It means that I have freedom.

I am thankful for all my friends. They mean that I am a person worth caring about.

I am thankful for my crush. It means that I am capable of having feelings for someone again.

I am thankful for not getting everything I want. It means that I value everything that I do have more.

Those are just what I can think of off the top of my head. I am truly blessed to have all that I do. So today, no complaining. Again, everyone have a wonderful and safe thanksgiving.

And it's ok if you slip into that turkey coma. :)

Pass the Coffee

Is it Friday yet? This is the question I have been asking myself all day. And it's only 10:30. It's already turned into a crapshoot. I woke up after 4 hours of sleep, hurried to school to find out that the 10 am is mandatory, not the 8 am. Yeah, not a good theme for today or the week. Plus, Officer Helga got the first guy to shut off his microphone when he was giving out test goodies. That just pisses me off, because we record lectures for a reason. So you can sit at home and listen and not waste time sitting in class. She's really getting on my last nerve, and today is not the day for her to even attempt talking to me. I left my filter at home this morning.

I'm not that pumped about thanksgiving. I need a week long vacation, not two whimpy days that they've decided to pass off as a "vacation". I need to catch up, and I need to get out of town for a few days. I'm growing weary of this place. Good news is I have a friend coming to town in 2 weeks. I'm really pumped. I've been having the hardest time coming up with a HIPAA approved name for him. I had a bought of insomnia last night, where I ended up laying awake in bed trying to come up with a name for him. The best one I could come up with was Sir Leprechaun, but I don't know if that's going to stick. I do think I need to go with something of Irish inspiration. But Leprechauns make me happy. So Sir Leprechaun it is.

I also have to start christmas shopping soon. I really hate that about christmas. I never know what to get people. I'm glad several of my friends have told me point blank what they want. We're not doing presents this year in the family, or so I've been told. I think my brother and his fiancee are getting me something, but I'm not getting anyone anything. I don't have the money, and neither does anyone else. I would think just getting together and not fighting for 4 hours is enough of a Merry Christmas. But otherwise, I won't be getting anyone anything. If you get me something and didn't tell me you were planning on exchanging gifts, then tough. So if you want something, or plan on getting me something, let me know. Because otherwise, you'll just get a lump of coal. Bah humbug.

That's all for now, but it's only Monday.

And Now I'm Scared Shitless

I'll be taking Step 1 on May 29, 2009 at 9 am.

I think I just shit my pants.

I Just Want to Use Your Love Tonight

So I'm anxiously awaiting the email from USMLE telling me I can register for my Step 1 test day. Several people in my class have already done it, so I'm starting to get really ancy waiting for it. I want to go ahead and get it done so all that can be out of my way. I expect to get the email in the next week. Until then, I will become a supremely compulsive email checker.

Went to Oxford this past weekend and watched the Ole Miss vs. Louisiana Monroe game. All I can say is that I haven't seen Ole Miss play so well since a Manning was on the team. They blitzed LM 59-0. I can attest, as an alumni, that the boys on the team earned their scholarship money that day. Unfortunately I couldn't stick out the entire game. It became so cold that my liver got frostbite. It began raining at first, and then it either turned to sleet or snow, we couldn't tell. My Nashville Native friend and I headed back to our tent in the grove, lowered it all the way, and made a warm coccoon of Hotty Toddy along with an awesome cheeseball. Not a figurative cheeseball, but a real one. The one you eat with crackers and is rolled around in chopped pecans. Well, when the friends who could only make it to the end of the 3rd quarter came back, they told us we looked shady sitting in the grove like that. You could only see feet, and if there was any sign of smoke then one could argue we had been in the pot patch located near the intramural field. It was such a fun time. I got to see great people. I forget how much I really miss my friends, and even Oxford to an extent. I'm much more of a city girl, but there is a certain appeal of such a small town. In fact, it's grown so much since I was there only 2 years ago. Much more to do, more dining, more stores. I'm freaking jealous. It was a long needed change for the town in general. I plan on going to at least one baseball game so that's going to be something to look forward to.

This year will be interesting as it comes to holidays. We're not doing thanksgiving at my house. I'll be going to my Aunt and Uncle's house, and my brother and sister will be going just to their father's house. Christmas I think will be different, since now we're switching to christmas eve instead of christmas day. It's really funny, because a while ago I was preparing for an impending engagment and marriage. I talked to my mother how his family also did the christmas morning thing, and how we may have to change to a christmas eve thing. Well, she would have none of that. We had always done christmas day and it was going to stay that way. I guess it took my brother getting engaged for her to switch. I'm not mad, I just think it's funny. So this year will see many changes as far as holidays go. At least I won't have to eat my mother's dry turkey for days on end. But sshhhh!! Don't tell her I said that. At least she doesn't fry it. People who fry turkeys just make me want to punch them in the face. Yeah, have fun with your atherosclerosis later in life. Bake your turkey this thanksgiving. Your arteries will thank you!

I recently read an article stating how primary care doctors are either planning on cutting back or getting out of medicine completely. I think, coming from the medicine point of view, that this has been a long time coming. Many doctors are unsatisfied in their jobs. The hours are long, the pay is becoming increasingly less, and the paperwork is enough to make your eyeballs pop out of their sockets and say "fuck you" as they walk away. There is a huge shortage of primary care doctors. We're told that almost any time they can fit it into a sentence at my medical school. But I think something that's not understood is how much work these doctors have. They are constantly swamped, and then they turn around and get sued, or Medicare/Medicaid/Insurance companies tell them that a service that costs $1 is only worth $0.20. So in reality, I can't blame a lot of these physicians either saying "screw this, I'm retiring or I'll make more waiting tables" or "I'm just working 8-5 and taking lots of vacation from now on". Now with the threat of the government stepping in to "improve medical access and care" (read: Government will eventually take over and the whole system will go to shit) it even makes some of us who haven't been able to even write a prescription yet think twice about our current career choice. Hopefully, the only thing the government will do is tell the insurance companies to stop making so much profit, for the bloodsucking lawyers to lay off the lawsuits, and put more trust in a doctor's training and clinical experience. Also, reimbursing a doctor properly for his time and training would go a long way too. But I highly doubt America is ready to do that. Medicine is going to hell in a handbasket, I agree. But the solution is not to pay doctors $40,000 a year and make them work 15 hour days. That's a great way to not have practicing doctors at all.

Ok, enough of my medical rant. I need to save some energy for my cell phone company. They've been charging for texts my mother has been getting. I'm going to see if they can block texts, since most of the time they're from a wrong number. If not, then I'll consider going somewhere else in the future for cell phone coverage. I don't agree for paying for something that I'm not using or that is not in my control. Also, I have to work up some nerve to call my ex roomate and clear some things with her. There has been some drama and even though it wasn't because of us, it was blamed on us. I'm going to be an adult and take care of this once and for all.

Until next time,
K

Ex+Ex's Cousin=Awkward Turtle. Write that down.

So it is officially 6 am and I am awake. Now, I'm not normally the morning person type, but for some reason my eyes popped open and wouldn't close again. So, I relented and proceeded to get up. Today will be a full plate. I have a mandatory pathology lab session, I have to make sure my Step 1 registration gets mailed out today (and NOT wet, it's been raining and that's all I need...a crumpled wet picture), I need to clean my disaster zone of a room, need to gym, plus I need to start buckling down hardcore for this block. God, that made me tired just thinking about it.

I'll be heading to the Alma Mater this weekend (woo!) for a visit with friends and some good quality FOOTBALL. Although, I won't be going to the game (not much for the dressing up that goes with the territory), but I will be enjoying some good ol' tailgating. I'm so excited...I'm ready to get out of town and get a mini vacation as well as see some of my friends that I haven't seen in a while. As far as the game goes, I'll probably just head back to someone's apartment and watch the game, or listen to it on the radio while hanging at the tailgate tent. So excited.

Speaking of vacations, it looks like I will indeed be visiting Dr. Pathologist over the Christmas holidays. I'm pretty excited since I haven't seen him in about 5 or so years. Plus, I know he'll show me a lot of good stuff that will help me out for path as well as for the step and subject boards. Hopefully I'll get some shadow time with his brother, who does derm path. Derm path is hard, but derm was my favorite block in histology. Dr. Pathologist does GI and GU...which I could never tell what is what and it just all looked like a hot mess. Maybe he can help me see the villi for the trees.

My birthday went well. Had a small get together at my house that included hamburgers and hot dogs. That helped with the whole getting a group larger than 4 into a restaurant. Then went out for beers on Friday night, where the Awkwardly Strange Ex and his cousin made much of an interesting night. The Awkwardly Strange Ex's cousin made a move on my friend the Cupcake Queen. It was so NOT smooth...he handed her his number (which was written on a napkin with no name...guess he was that memorable?) in front of EVERYONE and said "give me a call sometime if you wanna get some dinner". I hope they didn't hear Cupcake Queen freaking out on the way to the parking lot. I guess I need to be careful around those two...obviously just being nice and trying to spur conversation with two of the weirdest human beings on the face of the planet correlates to "I want to bone your brains out". So...lesson of the week: don't bring the Awkwardly Strange Ex and his cousin out into mixed company. It makes for a very awkward turtle night for everyone.

Saturday included a girls' day. My friend is getting married in August and so she decided to take all us bridesmaids and herself to a popular bridal shop out of town to get her dress and find a bridesmaid dress. The day was uneventful and fun, except later that night where there was all types of drama. It's way too long and confusing to write down, but it ended on me being severely confused and everyone else pissed off. I later talked to my friend and she didn't exactly know what all happened either. So, we're cool. haha. Leave it up to a group of 7 drunk girls to cause drama. This wedding is going to be fun! (it will be, but I'm sure the drama doesn't end here!).

Well, I need to get going with my day. Hope the week pans out great for everyone.
Until next time!
K

Sit Down and Stop Your Bitching

Ok...So this will be the first and last time I say anything about the election of '08. I will start off with a disclaimer-If you think for any reason that I am out of line, a racist, too conservative, too liberal, a tree hugger, a terrorist, stupid, retarded, ignorant, blind, blasphemous, a bigot, or anything else negative where you just point out that you're right and I'm wrong if I don't agree on the ways you think, then I suggest you find another blog to read. I'm taking into my hands the first amendment-The right to free speech and press.

As many of you know, Barack Obama was declared the winner of the 2008 Presidential election. That means, for the next 4 years, Obama will be leading the United States of America. I think whether or not I voted or supported Obama, I will say that I am an American who supports my country. Therefore, I now support Obama. I don't agree with everything he says. That's what makes this country great. I just hope that he will strive to make this country what once made it great. A people, united together, to protect liberty and freedom at any cost. People who fought for what they believed in, fought for freedom, fought for not only themselves but their neighbors as well. Who had morals, values, and a sense of personal responsibility.

With that being said, I think everyone needs to simmer down and stop whining.

Those who supported Obama, I am all about seeing what he does with this country. How he will lead us in the future. I hope he does make this a better place to live. I hope he makes it a better place for our children. But I think you need to calm down and stop professing how a "black man finally made it to the white house". I am proud of this country, to overcome the battles it has. But at the same time, I am ashamed to think that this was nothing more than a racial issue that involved the most important and powerful job in america. If you voted for Obama because you just wanted to have a black president: you should be ashamed of yourself. This isn't a white vs. black issue. This is the president of the United States! You should support someone for what they have proven themselves to be so far. Vote because you know that what they promise to do as the next president will be carried out. Not because it sounds good, not because they look good, because they have proven themselves in office and proven themselves a leader. Not because they are black, or white, or purple, or spotted, or male, or female. And being from the south, I think that this should show each and every person who believes they deserve more and are owed more that you can do it too-all without handouts. This should inspire every person that with enough passion and will you can do it without excuses. So quit the in your face black man president deal, quit the whining that you are owed something, and get off your ass and get some initiative just like Obama did.

And to those who didn't support Obama-quit your bitching too. So, you voted for McCain or Barr or wrote in a ballot electing Bessie the cow. Obama is president. Suck it up and be an American. If I remember correctly from the history classes I slept through in high school, hundreds of thousands of people have died over the past 200 years to keep this country alive. They gave their lives to make sure that we can still have elections today. That vetos can happen, that if someone hasn't proven themselves worthy of a government position, then as a country we can fire them (not to take Donald Trump's copyrighted line of "you're fired!") and nominate someone that we think is better for the gig. Those people DIED to make sure that you have the freedom to say that you think Obama is not the person you would trust with this country. Instead of bitching how he'll turn us into a socialist country, or how this is the beginning of the end, suck it up and be an American. Realize that he'll be here for the next 4 years. So give him some time to prove what he can do. Not one president has followed through on all his promises during elections. There is still only so much a president can do. There are checks and balances. There is a house and a senate. Doesn't anyone remember 9th grade civics? I mean, granted, I hated history. I hated my government classes. I loved math and science and is probably the uncanny reason why I went into Medicine to begin with. But unless we as a people give him the power to be a dictator, there are still limitations to what Obama can do in office. So calm down.

I will admit that I was not the happiest camper when Obama was deemed the winner of the election. I have always had a mistrust of what he said, and never did believe everything he promised. I listened to one speech, and became wary that a lot of what he said sounded very socialist. I'm not too thrilled at the idea of losing a good chunk of my future paycheck just because I make too much money. I am also worried that too many people in this country drank the koolaid for whatever their reason may be. But at the same time, I realize that right now, all I need to do is support my country. The world didn't end when Obama was elected. I need to support those people who still give their lives to protect what each and every one of us have. I'm taking my own advice. I'm sitting down, and the bitching has stopped.

I need to remind myself more often of the struggles we all go through. The fact that my grandparents came to this country with nothing but the clothes on their back and their family, to make a life in the greatest country in the world. The only country where you can start with nothing, and eventually see your granchildren graduate from college, become doctors, and make a life for themselves you could only dream about back in your homeland. People today still struggle to one day have a taste of the freedom that we have selfishly taken for granted the past few decades. Where all we cared about was what the government can do for me, and what I can get because I'm owed. This country was not founded on handouts. It was founded on the principle that if you worked hard enough, sacrificed enough, and wanted hard enough-you can get it. I think Obama has shown us just that. I'm not the most knowledgeable on his background, but I guarantee that no one can say he was born with some pre-determined presidential silver spoon in his mouth. I hope he serves as an inspiration to each and every person in this country, as well as outside this country.

The American Dream: coming from nothing to become something.

And if you don't like it, fuck it. Move to Canada. That's what I'll be doing if I become unhappy with America.

I'm done for the next 4 years. Thank you, and goodnight.

Dumbass says what?

So a very cracked out dream woke me up this morning. Too long to write out here, but if anyone is terribly interested, I'd be happy to tell you. The inner workings of my head are very, very scary.

So I didn't do anything for Halloween. Last year I was busy studying gross anatomy, and this year I had a friend who needed to go to the hot tub, chill, and just vent. Which, I felt was a good use for my night. Can't ever beat hot tub. After that, I came home and tried to watch Dracula. Me and my dumbass thought there would be horror movies left at the movie store. I was wrong. All the ones left were the really crappy ones. I am glad I found Dracula, but by the time I started watching it I was falling asleep. So I just put it up and went to bed. Perhaps next year, when the majority of my friends go to the party, then I'll go.

So I've gotten back into running. My mom got me a new ipod for my birthday (it's red and pretty!) so I've decided to get back into it. I'm starting back slow, since it's been a while since I've been consistent with it. I'm pretty excited. Maybe I can run a marathon one day? That would be wicked. I'd at least have a good excuse to travel to Chicago, Boston, New York, etc.

I've also stuck to my no class policy. I've talked to several other people in my class who came to the same conclusion that I have-you learn more by not going to class. Which, I would think is completely the opposite of what is supposed to happen. Isn't lecture supposed to help you learn the materia? Well, obviously not at our medical school. Actually, I have never encountered such horrible teaching before in my life. And one would think that at medical school, you would have some of the best teaching. Not the case. I'm actually not impressed at all with the teaching that I have encountered so far. It's like these people are just throwing us in the water, and if they see us drowning, they just kinda go "huh, pity". I can only count on one hand the teachers that actually teach and just don't throw out information to us and tell us to go learn it. Some people are good at learning on their own. And others, like me, that have actually been taught in undergrad, had a much harder time figuring out to learn on their own. Something as important as gross anatomy had some of the worst teaching. Same goes with Pharmacology. Two cornerstones to Medicine, and the faculty doesn't lift one finger to help you out, even when you go in search of it. Some teachers feel like they are teaching and are doing a good job, but in reality, what they do is stand up at the front of the room and lecture for 50 minutes but don't say anything.

A wise man speaks because he has something to say. A fool speaks because he has to say something.

My birthday is also next week. I'm trying to get together some margaritas to replace the birthday cake. You know, there's not much to look forward to after 21 except turning 30. I'm actually getting old enough to start lying about my age. I'm just not looking forward to my mother pressing marriage and children and when all that is going to happen. Because, even though I'm considered an old maid in the south, my mother won't consider me one until I'm done with school. So I have two years free of the marriage and babies nagging. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever marry, and since I have plenty of nieces, nephews, and cousins to borrow at any time I feel the need to have a child. I think I'll just become the old cat lady.

Keep it real,
K