I see the light! Wait, uh oh.

So I'm rapidly sprinting toward that light at the end of my basic science years when I remember that it's really a train called STEP 1 and I should turn around and run in the other direction. But, mind over matter, I'm still running toward the light.

Not to say that I most likely failed the pharm board and won't have to worry about turning tail and running because the pharmacology dept will yank on my bungee and pull me right where I belong. Taking pharm over again. Well, maybe not the whole class. I can see them making me re-take that stupid board because I'm estimating my grade to be a whopping 25 when usual boards are around 500. ugh. If I had known to just study mechanisms vs. I don't know, CLINICAL RELEVANCE, then maybe I could have broken triple digits. Ugh, I hate pharm. Radiology it is!

Today begins STEP 1 study intensity. I will be spending the next 30 days in the classroom wing trying to cram 2 years worth of info BACK into my head. Wish me luck!

Until next time!

Boards Define My Life

So I've realized that I'll pretty much be taking boards from here until I retire. Good news: they're boards and test general knowledge vs. memorization. The bad news: I'll never get away from taking tests.

Since I have today off I took myself to the gym again. 3/4 of a mile in 7 min. my little legs were cranking it out! Total 30 min, around 2 miles (can't remember, it's between 1.75 and 2), and 211 calories burned. It felt really good to just run and NOT listen to Goljan for a change (instead listening to my "run" playlist). 5k's, here I come!

Gotta go study before my friend's wedding shower tonight. Then why-the-hell-do-I-care board in the morning, then party in the afternoon!

My social calendar has never been so full.

I'm a wimp

1/2 mile in 6 minutes. Walked the other 24 for a grand total of 30 minutes and 1.66 miles. 208 supposed calories burned.

I'm getting there. slowly.

Also, I need to go down to the scrub room and *try on* scrubs. Since I'm short and have a massive ass, I don't know if the mediums will fit or if I'll need a large. It'll all depend on the way they're cut. Also, why isn't petite an option? I'm going to have to be rolling my pants something major.

Oh, and guess who has spent the past 2 days cooking instead of studying path? Oh yeah, that would be me.

Boards smoards.

Disbelief

Did I really just finish up my M2 year? Did I really take my last professor based test yesterday? Did I really pass all of my classes (pathology isn't in yet, but I don't think I did terribly bad on the test)? Do I seriously only have 4 boards and 1 STEP exam standing between me and basically being a doctor? I feel like I'm in some weird dreamy haze and will snap out of it any minute.

I'm very excited about the next 2 weeks. True, I have 4 boards, but those in general are never as bad to me. I just do a bunch of rapid review or BRS questions and I usually feel prepared. My calendar is actually pretty jam packed, with my first adventure on Wed Night. I'll be making some bean soup for me and a couple of friends. Then, the next night I have my friend's bachelorette/wedding shower thing. unfortunately I can't go out with them after the present/food party, because I have the behavioral health board that next morning. Then I think it's puppy party? I need to check the date on that so I don't miss it! I also need to figure out what I want to bring! Then, on April 29 I'll be out for one last hurrah before locking myself away for a full 4 weeks. I will have to study hardcore for STEP since I haven't completely started yet. But it will be ok, I'm sure the 4 weeks I've given myself will be more than plenty.

It's still really hard to believe that I'm almost completely done with my second year in med school. It's all just really flown by. Soon, it'll be time for step, I'll be on rotations, then I'll be figuring out what I want to do FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. wow. just...wow.

Alright, time to go make some good brunch for myself. I'm thinking something omelette like. maybe some potato hash browns? or some fruit. I haven't decided.

Hope everyone has a fabulous day!

Ridiculousness

Ridiculous. That is the word of the day.

Biostats: let's pray I passed.

Prev Med: yeah, I can pull out some answers out of my ass too! 47%, Darth Vader hypothesis, Argentina.

I swear to anything anyone considers Holy, if I fail one of those two classes, and I'm told I have to repeat them in summer school and throw off my entire course of school, I'm quitting. I'm turning in my white coat, and I'm leaving. AND I'm going to park in the parking garage while I do so.

Let's just hope that Prev Med "fixes" all grades. Because you know what, if you are angry that we waste your time by not coming to lectures, then maybe you need to see that if you don't take yourselves seriously enough as a department to stress on a test what you stressed in lecture, then why should you expect any of us to take you seriously and let you waste OUR time.

Just a thought.

Is it May yet?

Today's Glitter

So I'm here, studying cardiac pharmacology, just realizing why Calcium Channel blockers cause AV nodal block, and being really disgruntled that everyone else gets to have an Easter. And all I get is a crummy family lunch.

Then I remember: No more classes. Ever. Again.

And it makes me glitter, shine, and smile.

Happy Easter everyone. No more classes.

And Yes, Group 5 will dominate next year, especially in the awesomness category. We're going to rock.

Test Weekend Pooh's

So there's nothing like having to look forward to a nice long weekend filled with...you guessed it...studying. it actually makes me feel really lonely and whiney. So excuse me this weekend if I sound as such.

I do have some things to break the monotomy. First off, I would like to say that I had my last day of classes EVER AGAIN. It makes me happy. Now to just pass my tests, boards, and STEP1, I'll have the M in M.D. Halfway there! woot! Also, my friend is having a wedding shower thing tomorrow, so I'm going to stop by since it's at night and in town this time. And poor kitty isn't feeling good tonight, so he's been extra "hold me mommy" tonight.

I've been feeling the need for some cuddle buddy. I'm long overdue for a movie and cuddle night. It's getting to me. Now I just have to find a boy willing to sit still long enough to suffer through a movie with me attached to his arm. Participation in the cuddling is optional. ::sigh:: oh well, I knew what I was getting myself into when I went to med school...well...sorta...

On that note, it's time for biostats. goody.

I really, really, really miss my friend Brad. I wish he was in town this weekend. :(

Ok, I'm done pouting.

Hope everyone has a better weekend than I will.

Joining the Fun

1. radiology
2. nuclear medicine
3. psychiatry
4. aerospace medicine
5. preventative medicine
6. neurology
7. Emergency medicine
8. Ob/Gyn
9. allergy/immunology
10. dermatology
11. infectious disease
12. endocrinology
13. pediatrics
14. pathology

I think this test is wrong. It's funny how path is 14 and I'm seriously considering it. Also, how things like family med or just general medicine didn't make it on the list. and don't even ask me what aerospace medicine is. I mean, reallly? It sounds like a branch of medicine someone makes up to impress a girl in a bar. Kinda like "yeah, I went to med school for 2 years at hinds". Or how neuro makes me want to vomit.

I'm voting this test as a fail.

yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

Can I get a WOOT from the crowd?

So, one more week of class. One more week of powerpoints. One more week of sitting in this room on my butt having things flashed before my eyes with no explanation. Then, one more week of cramming useless info that only these people think is important. 2 weeks to take 4 boards. One month to study step.

Then, hopefully, M3

Can you tell I'm excited!?

the only hitch in my giddyup (ok, I live in the south, and some sayings just make me giggle like this one) is that I'm in incredible danger of failing biostats. Not Pharmacology. Not Pathology. a 12 hour MATH CLASS. Now, as ridiculous this sounds, it's completely legit. I've been freaking out about this class. Because when I went to Momma Medschool to get some reassurance that I won't be held back because of this class, I didn't get the words of wisdom I was hoping for. Instead I got the "don't put yourself in that position" and "if you fail you'll have to take it in summerschool". Yeah. 12 hour class. Worthless piece of shit class that's supposed to be a "walk in the park". Now, I'm mad. And you know what happens when I get mad. I'm making the teacher's life a living hell. Granted, I'm putting the time into it now. Last test, I understood the material and did the quizzes and failed so bad I almost ended up in single digits. I could have GUESSED better than the actual grade I came out with.

The good news, make a 70 and pass the class. Bad news: if this test is going to be anything like the last or hell, even the quizzes, I'm going to west virginia and starting up M3 year in december. Which completely throws off my plans for 2 away rotations.

Let's just hope something clicks. Or they decide that a 12 hour math class isn't worth making someone repeat.

You Can't Fix Stupid

I'm going to start this post off with a warning. I am in an extremely caustic mood. I have had a really bad day, and for a matter of fact, I've had a bad block. I have one more week of classes and then tests and I'm not thrilled about any of it. So, I'm most likely going to curse. I'll be caustic, condescending, and downright mean. If any of this is not something you want to read, then keep going. I really don't give a fuck if it's professional or kiss my ass worthy or not.

The whole inspiration of this post is Jenny McCarthy. She has a son, who was diagnosed with autism. Well, at first she was GREAT. She was writing books about dealing with it and was all about getting more attention and funding for research. Which is awesome, we need more of that. BUT when the stupid whore decided she knew more than doctors and started having 'vaccines cause autism' dinners and bullshit like that, then I started getting irked with her. NOW, she's decided that the gluten free diet she put her son on has suddenly cured her son from autism. And she wrote a book on it. So that others can put their autistic kids on this miracle diet and TADA! no more autism.

Here's how a person who's already spent around 20 grand on studying medicine so far interprets these results. Her son displays autistic symptoms at an early age and is diagnosed with autism. She gets on the bandwagon of 'vaccines are evil'. Then, experimenting with diets, she finds that her son's symptoms are no longer present when she eliminates gluten from his diet. This means his initial diagnosis of autism was incorrect, and he more accurately has a metabolic disorder that manifested with autistic like symptoms.

My diagnosis for Jenny: Stupid Whore Syndrome. This syndrome is characterized by an inflated belief that you know more than doctors who are educated in medicine. It can be a broad spectrum, ranging from self diagnosis and treatment to groundbreaking discoveries with single clinical trials and less than 3 participants. Unfortunately the gluten-free diet didn't fix that. I can however cure it with a big fat prescription of shut the fuck up and take about 200 benzos and wash it down with a bottle of wine and enjoy your gluten free casket. I don't know where she got the confirmation that her son was cured of autism vs. incorrectly diagnosed because even now, we dont' know much about autism itself.

So, I have 6 days of lecture left. And instead of being excited, I am stressed to the point that I don't know if I need an SSRI (can't-not enough time for effect to happen before tests) or a stiff drink or just to drop out of school and scramble eggs at waffle house for a living. I have spent all of my time and energy trying to understand biostatistics with no avail. I took an undergrad stats class, and even though I had no idea what I was doing, I managed to get an A. Now, this class could be standing between me and step. Because if i fail an M2 class, I can't take step. And even though I'm doing just fine in my 200 hour classes, because I obviously can't do math for a 12 hour class I just don't need to pass. Well, fuck me then. Just fuck me and fuck yourself and I just don't give a flying fuck anymore. So I'm going to focus on the REAL classes and just give Dr. M the finger when I turn in my test.

I'm off to drink more wine and perhaps lay in bed. Hopefully I can find some better spirits so I can study some tonight.