Stronger

So this week just hasn't been the best for me. Especially today. You would think it would turn out to be a good one, since I got the day off by coincidence. So I woke up, had my coffee, turned in my psych quiz. Thus started the bad day. Let me preface this by saying I had put more than 4 hours into this quiz. QUIZ. Not test. Which, according to the course director or supreme hancho or whatever he wants to call himself, will look a lot like the quizzes. GREEEEEAAAAAT. I'm definitely going to fail psych. Not only have I put that much time into the quiz just to turn up a big fat "you suck", but left me neglecting my other courses. So I've had to do some pharm and path and biostats and prev med. Let's just say that I have NO IDEA what my prev med test will look like, and biostats is nothing but glorified algebra for the med student. I'm hoping to do well on path and pharm, but we'll see. I just can't do the rest of my work because psych has just been piling up these quizzes. Not to mention this past one has been the worst yet. There's always the retake, right?

My friend actually went to Momma Medschool and vented about psych. They said that they've been getting complaints. She said that someone else was also in the office, and was going to email the Dean to see if they can't put a leash on psych. From what I heard, if enough people email complaints, they may be able to fix the ridiculousness that has become our psychiatry class. So I may go in monday and voice a concern about the upcoming test. Because if I spend 4-6 hours on a quiz, open book, and still can't make above an 80, I'm scared.

Another thing that has been causing me great anxiety is 3rd year schedules. Granted, I think I have been so lucky to end up in the class of 2011. The class above us is full of freaks and cuthroat gunners, while the class below us is full of overanxious, overachieving puppies. Our class isn't without its freaks, don't get me wrong. However, I feel like with the exception of a handful of people, I could work and pretty much professionally get along with almost everyone. Sure, there are the few that I'll dread getting on the same schedule, especially Officer Helga. I think she's the one person in the entire class that NO ONE wants to be on rotations with. Especially since she's already corrected a resident as a second year student. As much as I would love to personally be on rotations with her just to personally see her get verbally cornholed by a resident, I'd much rather just avoid the entire experience. Even though the first or the 300th time would be just as entertaining. I'm sure it won't get old and will be like some type of consolation prize for being stuck with her on rounds. I'll just have to see how it all plays out. I turned in my schedule and I just hope for the best. And even if I do end up with her, Momma Medschool has assured me that 1. you'll get the chance to work with others 2. a person's behavior will not affect your grade if you make sure you make a good impression and go out of your way to show them you're not associated with the bum partner and 3. there's always xanax. haha. no, I just added in #3. But it's still true. I just really hope I get in a good group, and I'm sure with such a great class overall I'm bound to have a good experience.

What does not kill us only makes us stronger.

Also, the korean/asian store didn't have Kimchee. I made a special trip out there JUST for kimchee. Supposedly there's going to be fresh kimchee tomorrow, so I'll just have to make another trip out. Also, I had a 2 liter of sprite explode in my car, now causing me to need a serious shampooing of my carpet in the back. At least it didn't stain, but that just didn't help with the disgruntledness I feel with everything that's just gone wrong.

So the rest of the weekend, i'll be catching up with biostats and pharm hopefully. I've successfully completed my laundry. I need to clean but that's iffy. I'm just hoping the crapfest that has been the past week or so will resolve and I'll take the test block going smoothly.

On a better note, I hope it rains tonight (after I get back from the gym!!!!) so I can sleep and watch movies in bed. I like stormy weather.

What I Did This Weekend

Pathology. Lots and lots of pathology. Renal pathology to be exact. I read all my handouts and the renal chapter in the book. I need to read male GU still, but did make my way through the handouts. Dr. Pathologist has been very patient with me since I've called almost every day with questions. He even quizzed me for an hour last night. I feel as though I should be a renal path specialist! Although, I'm no where near that and just like any other block, I hope I can pass.

I also slept. A lot. I came down with a cold friday morning, causing me to miss classes. So I stayed home and between pathology packets I took naps. I also slept in which made me feel much better. I'm just down to some sniffles and a cough. Note that I especially made my bed for the photo. It's never made.

I baked too. These are sticky buns I made for Sunday breakfast/brunch. They were pretty good too! Not too sweet. Just right. This is sourdough bread. After making my own bread for a while, I just can't go back to the bought stuff anymore. So this has become my new thing.Last, but not least, Gryffin supervised the entire weekend.

All in all, I consider this weekend a success. Now I'm in the process of trying to plan a girl's trip to the beach right after the Step. I hope we can get a lot of people to come, because it'll be cheaper for everyone that way! If interested, let me know!

Until next time.

Excuse Me While I Rant

Ok, so this morning I was doing my usual blog reading to see who updated and what they posted yada yada. Then I come upon this one blog from a girl that I used to go to high school with. She posted about the car accident. And she had the NERVE to state that the people who caused the wreck needed prayers and how they were influential in the area and how they contributed financially to the city. Then she said that the families of the 2 doctors also needed prayers. Yes, I agree that all families and victims need prayers. I don't wish ill for anyone, don't get me wrong. But the fact that she mentioned that they are influential in the area just makes my blood boil. I'm so sick and so TIRED of these rich people getting special treatment because they contribute money to the community. They hit that doctor going an estimated 90 mph. NINETY MILES PER HOUR. Besides alcohol and drugs, I don't know what would cause someone to drive that fast and that recklessly. The toxicology hasn't been released, but knowing how most of these "influential" people spend most of their time drunk off their ass and stoned out of their mind leads me to believe that they were drunk driving from the Country Club. And Dr. P DIED. He's never coming back. He's not in ICU with broken bones and may/may not have the same mental capacity as before. HE'S DEAD. HE BURNED IN HIS CAR AFTER IT EXPLODED. I can't think one reason in HELL that the "influential" ass pricks deserve any special considerations because they are rich. They caused the wreck. They killed someone. INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER. I don't know much about law, but I do remember that one. I think they should get better, then pay for what they did. By rotting in jail. Strip them of their fancy lifestyle, fancy parties, and money. And what do you have? A killer. Plain and simple.

I know that I may be a bit more influenced since I knew Dr. P. Even with that said, I don't think that anyone deserves special treatment or to have the whole thing overlooked and brushed under the rug just because these people have money coming out of their ears. Unfortunately, that's exactly what will happen. They'll throw some money at the judge and police force, and it'll all just go away. They'll be free to do the same thing to someone else. Maybe next time, it'll be you. Or your child. Or your parents. Think about it. Should rich people be able to get away with it because they are "rich" and "influential"?

I pray for Dr. P's family and the family of his fiancee' (who also died in the car accident). They are the ones that lost the most. Two people who can never be replaced. The rich ass folks that caused the accident are still alive. They may be disfigured, but alive. And I know that it hurts their families too, but it DOESN'T make them any less responsible.

Ok, I'm done for now.

So this is what I have been looking at for about 10 hours every day. This, my friends out in blog world, is a microscopic view of a glomerulus. The round squiggly thing that looks like a 3 year old drew would be the glomerulus itself. All the stuff around it is interstitial stuff and tubules of various kinds. The really unfortunate part is that the stuff is starting to grow on me. I really like the professor that's lecturing. He doesn't lecture to us with his back turned because he's reading directly off his powerpoint slides. He faces the class, and points out stuff and just TALKS about all the stuff. It's actually educational. I can just sit and listen to him, and walk out of the lecture and actually know some stuff. I can even retain it for days later. This hasn't happened since undergrad people. To top it all off, Dr. Pathologist did some renal during his residency and called me last night and gave me a mini lecture on the kidneys. What I wouldn't give for him to come for the rest of this block and be my own personal tutor. Unfortunately, that can't happen. He did assure me that he'll answer all phone calls and any questions. So I guess it's better than nothing.

So I've just been sitting in my room at night studying all this stuff. I got a wave of procrastination and installed skype on the computers so now we can talk to my family that still lives in the motherland. I've also been experimenting making my own bread. I made a sourdough the other day and it was SO GOOD. I sliced it up and made the best PB&J I've ever eaten. Although it takes forever to rise, I know now just to start it super early and it'll be ok. I don't have pictures of my first attempt, but I'll have some soon. I'm going to make another starter today and then have some loaves by Sunday. good times!

Well, I better start up on my psych quiz. I have a meeting with my preceptor today too. Then going to gym later tonight. I'm on a training program that's supposed to get me running 2 miles in 8 weeks. I want to start doing 5k's and maybe even marathons one day. It's also a good way to get away from the nerd hole and relieve some stress.

Until next time.

KIDNEYS!

OhGodNoPlease

Every once and a while I find a postcard on postsecret that either I hope is for me or I could have sent myself. I saw this one and both could apply to me. It actually made me laugh out loud because I've had this exact thought before. And I think the hopeless romantic in me also thinks that someone may have thought this to themselves about me at one point or another. It's also pretty ironic that I'm watching Romeo and Juliet right now (the 90's one with Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes). I also successfully got through another Valentine's day without caving to the marketing stunts of the local chocolate, card, and flowers corporations. The older I get the more I realize that one shouldn't feel required by some pre-determined day to tell someone you love them. It should be random. Why Feb 14? Why not Sept 23 or June 11? (I know the whole story of the priest or monk or whatever he was shuttling letters between lovers...but still)

Not to mention that Valentine's has been ruined for me again this year. With the awkwardly strange ex asking me on a date, and when I turned him down showed his true asshole colors and proceeded to tell me he wasn't interested in dating me and I'm too busy with school for his liking. Oh yes people, he said that. After asking me on a date. Glad to know I learned yet another lesson. You can't be friends with ex's. I'm also starting to wonder if you can be friends with men at all without some other motive behind it all.

And with all my luck with men, people wonder why I've just said "screw it" and have resolved to become the cat lady.

RIP Doc

A doctor I worked with this summer was killed in a car accident last night. He was an awesome doctor and so laid back. He always had a smile on his face and was an awesome teacher. He was one of my favorite residents over the summer. I was looking forward to working with him at Baptist next year on my family medicine rotation. He and his fiancee were killed when his truck caught fire. The passengers of the mercedes that hit them head-on are in critical condition.

Please keep his and her family in your prayers. The medical community lost an amazing doctor.

I pray that they didn't suffer.

What I learned today

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Do You Know The Muffin Man? Because I Can't Make My Own.

So after the suckfest that was 4th block tests, I'm finally relaxing. Friday afternoon I took myself straight to the local pizza and beer place. I then proceeded to drink some beer (happy hour is very good to me) and then find my new favorite pizza. It's got pesto as a sauce base, jalapenos, button and portabella mushrooms, spinach, and feta cheese. SO GOOD. Then I slept in Saturday, hit the gym, then went bowling with a bunch of friends. I had such a good time just goofing off. I even threw my very first spare! (For those of you who don't know me, breaking double digits in a game is a successful game for me). I really enjoyed seeing all my friends because I have been bad about staying in the nerdhole lately. Today has just been laid back. I've decided that I want to start doing 5k's, so I got on the treadmill this afternoon. I ran 1/4 of a mile to start out again, then did some fast walking. All in all I did 2 miles. Not too shabby for my first time back in a while. I also baked some chocolate muffins, but they were not a success. They basically stick to the paper liners like glue,and you lose half of it in the battle to pry it off the liner!

This week will be busy. We have the pathology interest group meeting tomorrow. Then Wed I have a doctor's appointment, thurs is the venture to the children's hospital for valentine's goodies, and then friday is give a kid a smile day. WHEW! Plus I have an ICM assignment due and I'm going to have to keep up better this block for damage control. I haven't gotten all my grades in yet, but they did take a severe hit with me being so focused on the end of Microbiology. And with that said, NO MORE MICRO! It makes me endlessly happy. I also have to throw in a preceptor meeting in with everything. It'll be busy but hopefully not mentally taxing. I like to keep busy, so it won't be terrible.

I also need to do some retail therapy. I got several gift certificates for Christmas that I have yet to utilize. I need a new pair of khakis because my old ones are just that. Old. They have a few stains on them and are worn so it's just time for a new pair. Plus, I can always use some new shirts to wear. I'm constantly getting my wardrobe in shape for 3rd year. I'm mainly a jeans and t-shirt type of person, so the whole dressing up every day will prove challenging for me. It's going to take a lot of effort on my part and I'm going to have to have to have a lot of input from friends because I'm not the most fashion forward person. I have trouble putting outfits together and matching colors and whatnot. Ugh, I'm already getting a headache thinking about it.

With that, I may go take a nap! woot!

Lessons Learned

I learned several things. Just today!

1. If being a real doctor is anything like that micro board this morning, then I need to quit while I'm ahead and become a peg-leg wench off the eastern coast of Africa.

2. There are too many gunners in my class. The ones who sit around and say if so-and-so didn't know the answer to question #36 then they're just stupid and HAHA! I'm so much better than they are. Get over it. We're all in the same boat. Some are better swimmers than others. You may be the Michael Phelps of med school, but I still have my head above water. Screw you, your patients will hate your patronizing ass and attendings will find endless pleasure making you sweat during rounds because it'll be the first time in your life you just won't know the answer. It will eat you alive. I will laugh because I'm so used to being a wrong dumbass.

3. Chocolate really does make everything better.

4. If pharmacology is as complicated as they're making it out to be, then screw it. I'm becoming a radiologist.

3 more days until weekend.

And men are stupid. Really stupid.

That's all.