I could have told you that...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/28/AR2008122801588.html

Above is a little article basically saying that "abstinence only" programs and pledges are less effective at preventing teen pregnancy than talking to your kids about the safe use of condoms and/or birth control pills. WOW. Only took some research and a few statistics for these morons to catch on. The frequent disappearances of several of my high school classmates and increasing number of 13 year olds I see coming into the local hospital clued me in on that way of thinking years ago. Ugh.

So, my baking spree has ended. My holiday is coming to an end. I have 22 weeks until Step (I'm freaking out). Also, I HAVE to get the ball rolling on this name change thing. I'm dreading going down to the social security office like the place is full of Yersinia pestis or something. I'm still not sure how all of this name changing business will go. It's going to be a pain. May as well do it now than later. Besides getting the name thing straight, I'm also trying to organize my life. I think I'm going to finish my tea then straighten up my room. I may head to the gym later, because the doctor reminded me today that losing weight would be a good idea. Unfortunately, my weight has done nothing but increase despite increased exercise and no change in diet. Ugh. Although I think we made progress today and some of that seems to be due to an underlying problem. We'll see.

I really don't want to go back to school. Think anyone would notice if I just quit?

I'm STILL home for christmas

So I've passed this round of tests, but Micro is still pending. I did better on the lab practical than I expected. Honestly, I think they gave me someone else's grade! The people who flank me in the alphabet both have outstanding grades, and I think something happened while posting grades on blackboard. Hopefully I'm wrong and that really is my grade. I would appreciate it if Micro did get on the horse and post our test grades. I had to work day and night to study for that test, the least they can do is put my grade up in a timely manner. Slackers.

So with school being out until Jan 5, I'm doing just what I need to do. Bake, work out, sleep, repeat. I didn't go to Dallas due to issues with Dr. Pathologist and Dr. Dermpath getting vacation time. Maybe I'll be able to make it out for spring break. We'll see. So I'm stuck at home, with my parents, and none of us are going anywhere. I wish I could say I'll be home for christmas. The real problem is, I never left. Blah. I probably won't come home for many christmases to come. I know I wont' be decorating due to my mother's christmas wonderland that is our house. I actually need her to go to bed so I can wrap her present. It's still sitting in my car.

So I got a call from the lawyer today. The judge signed off on me changing my name. I'm waiting for the official paperwork to come in the mail. Then starts the fun standing in line and getting all of my information changed. I really hope this will go smoothly. Especially at the social security office. I really got to make sure they don't change my SSN. Because then all hell will break loose. I was told they shouldn't change it, but you never know with these people. Hopefully everything will be good to go by the beginning of the year.

So we're doing christmas eve this year. After my brother decided to run off and get married a few days ago, we'll have a new addition to the family. I still haven't made up my mind on the sister in law, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I haven't spent any time with her getting to know her. I'm sure she's a great girl. She has an adorable son so I'm excited about having a new nephew to spoil rotten...once I get a job that is.

So, without further ado, I need to get back to...let's see, right now it's sleeping. I hope to get to see all my friens that are in town. I've been doing something every night, so I'm looking forward to later this week to just sit at home and chill. People are welcome, I'm just tired from staying out until 1 or 2. So if you're in town, holla! I'll be here until 2011
.
Happy Holidays!

I can do this

I just keep repeating to myself "I can do this...I can do this..." but it's becoming a bit more whiney and more dragging. I'm not very convincing, especially to myself. Yesterday was a bad day. The ICM test pretty much separated the cardiologists from the rest of the population, I'm no longer going to Dallas due to Dr. Pathologist and Dr. Dermpath getting the rest of the christmas season off, and to top it off my brother called and informed me that he and his fiancee' are running off and getting married this weekend. And no one's invited. Eloping was supposed to be MY thing. Fucking older siblings. They ruin everything.

So I just have microbiology left. If anyone had told me that this class would be this much of a suckfest, I would have gone ahead and stood in line for Xanax and Adderall. Jesus christ these people are relentless. And the amount of pointless shit they make us know. Clearly they are not teaching to boards, because half of the information they give us fails to appear in my Clinical Microbiology Made Ridiculously Simple, Microbiology Board Review Series, or my First Aid for the USMLE Step 1. All of them need to be fired. They are doing a horrible job. Who is the manager here? I want to file multiple complaints.

It is 6:21 am. I have my micro lab practical at 1pm. I better get on the horse.

Is it friday yet?

Help Me to Help You, Help Me to Help You

I have realized 3 main things during this round of tests:

1. Rome wasn't built in a day. My pharmaceutical knowledge wasn't either. That time frame is more accurately estimated at 4 hours. That also means that I should in no way, shape, or form ever be responsible for dishing out the pharmaceutical goodies. Looking at the options I picked, I'll most likely kill anyone in heart failure or those needing any time of CNS drug. Not to mention if you have AIDS, HIV, or a parasitic infection don't come looking to me for help. I'll have no idea what to give you. BUT, if you have herpes, then step right up. I've already filled my Rx pad with Acyclovir in every blank. All that is needed is your name and my signature.

2. It is way too early for me to be burnt out. Usually, the headaches and nap taking during tests don't happen until at least wednesday. It definitely happened 30 min into the first test. This is not good.

3. I think my grades would be better if I ever did find that ounce of give a fuck I was looking for last week. I still don't care. When most people, including myself, start feeling the pressure of the impending test week about a week or so before tests, I didn't start feeling the pressure until 6:30 this morning. My test was at 9. As you can see, I'm reading for my freaking christmas break.

My plans? Rot my brain. Thoroughly. With the use of movies and House and Grey's Anatomy marathons. Be it on TV or by the use of my blockbuster card. I also plan to bake. A LOT. So if anyone wants goodies, let me know. I'll be happy to make something for you. Sleep is right up there, and visiting friends. I have my long awaited trip to Dallas which I am starting to get nervous about. More about that later probably. Just really scared of things being awkward. And I'm waiting to hear from a friend that lives in Gulfport. Of course, I'll be doing a christmas shopping spree friday afternoon and all day saturday. So if you want to join me, please come. I'll be cracked out on no sleep, caffiene, and the adrenaline from the madness that will be trying to find presents for everyone. Should be a good time.

Wish me luck. I just hope to come out of it alive.

Let Me Introduce Myself

It's friday, I'm sitting in a microbiology lab review, and my christmas vacation is so close I can taste it. I'm so excited about my christmas break. I probably will spend a good bit brushing up my first year knowledge in rapid preparation for step 1. But I'll still have fun. I will be doing a lot of baking, hopefully spending time with my niece and nephew, and visiting friends. I'm still planning on going to Dallas and meeting up with Dr. Pathologist and Dr. Dermpath. I'm so excited about seeing them, and getting to see TERATOMA! So excited about the teratoma. But I'm also excited to see my friends too. I saw Dr. Dermpath a few months ago. I haven't seen Dr. Pathologist in forever, so I can't wait to give him a big hug. I just need to try try try try try my best to stay focused and not fail my tests too bad. I have a good feeling this round of tests will lower my grades a bit.

I thought it would also be a good time to announce to those of you who read my blog that I'm in the process of changing my last name. I have encountered many problems with my last name, both professionally and personally. So I finally got pissed enough and got a lawyer and I have done the initial paperwork to change it. I won't release the new name here, but I'll contact everyone once it's finalized and let you know. Hopefully it'll be in effect by the new year. I'm not looking forward to having to tell everyone, and especially the questions that will follow. But it'll be good to get it done before 3rd year so none of the doctors associate me with my new last name, and I can go into residency and have my medical liscence with a better name than my current one. I actually tried to talk my parents into letting me change my middle name too...but my mom had a fit since she was the one that came up with that name. So just the last name it is.

But, enough of all that. Back to the grind.

Is it Friday Yet?

So, tues, 8:10 am and I am in a FOUL mood. I started off the morning dragging, I had to dress up and get my white coat together because I'm supposed to go do a history today for my preceptor, I showed up for my ONE class this morning (a guest speaker from State who actually teaches), and to top it off, it's hot and raining and it's DECEMBER! DECEMBER PEOPLE! Why is it hot? Why is it 70 degrees outside? I hate this place.

Next week is test week. I'm doing ok studying for pathology and pharmacology...but it's microbiology I have a problem with. I am reaching into the dark depths of my soul and for the life of me can't pull out the smallest ounce of give a fuck. It's impossible for me to study for that class, because I don't give a flying fuck about the parasite that affects 1% of the population on some remote island off Vietnam that you'll only ever see if you're a missionary or stationed soldier. Tip: when going to foreign countries, don't drink the water, don't eat anything that's raw, and especially whatever you do don't stick anything in your eye. You'll be fine. And I'll never have to know this shit.

The only thing that can possibly keep me from dropping out at this point is that each and every one of my family members will kill me. Actually, I love every miserable minute. Don't let me fool you. But sometimes, it's just like, FUCK. I'm definitely burnt out right now, and christmas break can't come soon enough. I'm so excited to be going to Dallas and seeing Dr. Pathologist and Dr. Pathologists's brother Dr. Dermpath. I really want to go to the cotton bowl, for all you Ole Miss fans out there, but unfortunately I cannot justify two visits to Dallas within one week. :( I think after we do christmas eve stuff, I may be going down to the coast to visit one of my friends. I plan on spending a lot of time this vacation doing just that. Vacationing. If anyone wants me to come visit, then let me know. I may work you in. I just need to get out and get away for a while.

So, with that, I will sit back and wait for the 9 am to get here. Then probably off to the library to be antisocial and study some more pathology. I've already told two people to keep walking this morning. I think it's best I stay away from people today.