FML

stuffy nose: check
sore throat: check
chills perhaps fever (can't find a thermometer): check
cervical and submandibular lymphadenopathy: check
general feeling of crumminess above the neck: check
being heavily medicated to where I don't know my name: check
drinking lots of fluids religiously:check
vitamin C and B-complex supplements: check
Waking up at 1 am to cry hysterically because if this doesn't go away by friday morning, I'm going to fail step due to being very ill: CHECK CHECK CHECK

if I still have chills in the morning I'm going to the doctor. Then calling Momma Medschool's office and seeing if i can move step back. I don't know since I'm past the 5 day deadline and I don't know if the prometric site will have an opening.

I can't fail because of the cold or flu. I just can't. They won't let me, will they?

Good luck to Cupcake Queen, Aspiring Neurosurgeon, and all others taking step tomorrow. I'll be sending good vibes your way!

Happens Every Time

4 days before step, I wake up feeling like i've swallowed hot lava, and my face is going to explode somewhere around the bottom of my eye socket. Yes folks, I am officially sick. I'm praying it's an allergy exacerbation from the new animals and unfamiliar house. I really really really hope it's not a cold or some type of flu. That's all I need...to fail step because I feel like death warmed over.

Excuse me while I take a benadryl chased with an espresso shot so I can stay awake and flip my shit about the entire situation.

Please send good healing thoughts my way. I don't want to be sick friday!

Judge's Verdict

It's official. I have peaked in step study. Actually, looking back, I should have taken it this past weekend. I think I would have been ready. Now I'm just trying to hold in all the info until friday where I can purge it on the screen.

Staying at the bro's house is amazing. It's always so hard going back home after something like this, because i enjoy being on my own SO MUCH. Oh well, only 2 more years. Then I can buy a huge old colonial house in boston or something. It'll pay off.

I think for my birthday this year, we should have pony rides. Just throwing that out there.

The Easy Button

Where is that damn "easy" button when you need it? Today has been shit-tastic as far as USMLE world. I've dropped a good 10-15 % points from where I was the other day. I hope I haven't peaked and the information has started leaving my brain. I'm hoping to chalk this up to I'm on the other side of 1,000 USMLE world questions and still feeling like slightly warmed up poo from giving platelets (where as this morning found out it was a combination of dehydration and caffeine withdrawl since I skipped my afternoon coffee break).

I'm now officially getting ready to get this damn test over with. I just hope the info stays where it is and I can put off the liquefactive information necrosis from happening until May 30.

Happy Stepping.

I could have told you that...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/28/AR2008122801588.html

Above is a little article basically saying that "abstinence only" programs and pledges are less effective at preventing teen pregnancy than talking to your kids about the safe use of condoms and/or birth control pills. WOW. Only took some research and a few statistics for these morons to catch on. The frequent disappearances of several of my high school classmates and increasing number of 13 year olds I see coming into the local hospital clued me in on that way of thinking years ago. Ugh.

So, my baking spree has ended. My holiday is coming to an end. I have 22 weeks until Step (I'm freaking out). Also, I HAVE to get the ball rolling on this name change thing. I'm dreading going down to the social security office like the place is full of Yersinia pestis or something. I'm still not sure how all of this name changing business will go. It's going to be a pain. May as well do it now than later. Besides getting the name thing straight, I'm also trying to organize my life. I think I'm going to finish my tea then straighten up my room. I may head to the gym later, because the doctor reminded me today that losing weight would be a good idea. Unfortunately, my weight has done nothing but increase despite increased exercise and no change in diet. Ugh. Although I think we made progress today and some of that seems to be due to an underlying problem. We'll see.

I really don't want to go back to school. Think anyone would notice if I just quit?