Ow.

So after a good 6 hours of studying today, my head is killing me. I'm craving carbs, and alcohol. I think my brain forgot what it means to study. Ow.

In other things, I went to the farmer's market with my hypochondriac-ish friend and found some wonderful finds. I got some local honey that is "creamed". It doesn't have cream in it, but something with the crystallization of it (i didn't get a good explaination at the time) makes it look "creamy". And it has cinnamon infused in it. Let's say it's amazing with oatmeal in the mornings. also found where you can buy half a lamb, half a cow, and goat (yes, GOAT). Not to mention some of the creamiest goat cheese I've had in a while. Just goodness all around! I'm glad I went, because it was something fun and I got to see where they moved it (I remember the farmer's market being behind the U in the train platform type of things).

Also, I had time to read while on my peds rotation. I completed The House of God and also Laughing in the Dark by Chonda Pierce. The House of God was not as good as everyone made it out to be. Overall, I would rate it 7/10 due to lack of realism, lack of actual medicine, and too much sex/preoccupation with boobs. Laughing in the Dark seemed more of a journal than an actual book. I found it lacking any substance and more of a "pour your heart out and see all of the terrible troubles poor little me went through". Also, there was no clear resolution. I give it a 4/5. Just because as she's a comedian, there were some funny parts.

Well, I suppose it's about that time to pop about 4 ibuprofen and resume my USMLE world question bank. I don't think I'll finish my questions by the internal medicine board, but I can try. As of right now my head is screaming in pain, i may just lay down and call it a night. Hope all is well with everyone else in blog-land.

Seriously?

Okay, so pet peeve #15: don't keep sending me emails to check something off online when you don't send me the link to do so. I don't have time to search the internet to find this "check off". I told you that in TWO separate emails TWO different ways. Send me the link, or it won't get done. If I have to repeat myself a THIRD time, it's not going to be nice. If you're wondering, I got an email to sign off on my OB/GYN preceptor. You know, that rotation I completed 6 weeks ago. Unfortunately, the secretary didn't send me the link in order to evaluate him. I check e-value where all the other evaluations are done, and I have no evals yet to be completed coming up in my box. I ignore because apparently it's not important enough to send me the link.. Get another email red flag reminder (she LOVES those things) saying "please sign off and help me out".So I evaluate my preceptor in the email. Get another email "go online and add comments there". .::deep breaths, deep breaths:: send one saying "I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING IN E VALUE AND YOU DID NOT PROVIDE A LINK". I don't know how much clearer I can get that it is impossible for me to do this evaluation that is floating around somewhere in interspace.

Other than that, finally submitted my last H&P, gotta get some peds studying in somewhere today, and then Peds test tomorrow. Then 2 weeks of boards. Why is internal medicine first? you know, the one with ALL the stuff. why can't we do surgery? I'm sorry, but surgery just isn't as complicated as internal medicine. ::sigh:: Then after that, I have 3 weeks to get it together for STEP2. I may end up postponing it 1. I'm chicken 2. I'm burnt out 3. I don't wanna.

So I suppose I'm off to dig myself another nerd hole. Peace out.

Big Smiles

With one week left in my pediatric rotation, 6 weeks separating me from my STEP2 CK, and 7 weeks before I begin my 4th year, there's not much to smile about. I'm exhausted, overworked, and frustrated.

But when one of the pathology interns stops in the hall just to ask when you're rotating in the dept and smiles and says "yay" it just makes my day. I'm excited about my pathology months and cannot wait to be there. I just hope I can make a good impression and get some good letters. And by god, I need to get my research month thrown together about..NOW. however, YAY PATHOLOGY!!!!! :D

I hope everyone finds one thing to make them smile today, even if it's friday!

The Road That Was Long Seems So Short In the Terms of Now and Then

2 weeks left in M3 year. So unbelievable. Looking back, it's amazing what we've all endured, learned, and triumphed over. Every rotation has taught me a valuable lesson, and I have countless stories for each service. Now as I stare down the barrel of "the rest of my life" type of thing, I almost get this cold sweat on my feet, my heart starts to pound, and I start feeling really shaky. Now as everything comes pummeling on top of me: boards, step, schedules, CV, dean's letter, department letters, applications, step AGAIN....I just have to stop and take a deep breath.

Any advice for the M2's that will be M3's in less than a month is this: learn what you can, sleep when you can, and have fun when you can. M3 isn't the year that is so wonderful. True, no more 10 hour lectures in front of powerpoint, and no more PhD's trying to prove their worth by ass raping you via a 200 question final cumulative exam. Instead, you will have to wake up at a quarter to the ass crack of dawn, smile to the patients who roll over or curse at you for waking them up, then smile as the resident that's had too many mountain dews and not enough sleep curses at you for not writing down RANGES for all the vitals, and then retract like a pro when the surgeon yells at you for not reading his mind. Sometimes spending 12+ hours at the hospital. By this time next year, you will hate UMC as an institution because you realize how much of the past year you have spent in that place.

My advice: let it roll off you. What are they going to do? Kill you? If you show up when you're supposed to, do what you're told, you get the EXACT same grade as any world class kissass gunner that bought him/herself an extra 4 hours of work. Not only will you get the exact same 85 grade, but you'll have an extra 4 hours of sleep to boot.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have done a lot of things differently....
Surgery: I would have hid in the student on-call room and either sleep or study. I would have appeared ONLY when my pager went off. yes, some people may call you a slacker, but in all honesty you don't get graded for trauma call and your OFFICIAL duty is to basically fill out bifolds and scrub in to retract on traumas.
Family Medicine: I would have drank a LOT more and gone out every night.
Psychiatry: There are no tips except you're screwed for the test and no matter how GOOD or CORRECT  your logic, they won't give you credit for those questions that suck. The board exam? May as well take it with a hangover.
Medicine: you'll learn to write REAL notes and work your ass off. I learned the most on this rotation.
Ob/Gyn: no matter what you do, you're going to piss off your resident. Just ignore them and make it out alive
Pediatrics: everyone is nice and the kids are great. Take the opportunity to get your work done and disappear. If the resident says "go study and page me later" take that as "if you go home and don't page, they'll never realize you're gone".

All in all, it's another year down. I wouldn't do it again, but I learned a lot. And as an M4 i'm taking the most SLACKER schedule ever!!!!!

July: Anatomic Path
August: off for possible research/vacation
September: Clinical Path
October: Anesthesia for those who don't want to do surgery
November: Review of Histo
December: OFF
January: Computers in Medicine
February: House Medicine (hopefully VA)
March: Heme/Onc Clinic (Peds)
April: Family Medicine Clinics
May:  OFF
June: off for moving in/travels!!!
July: Start residency:

It's going to be a whirlwind, but it's here! THE LAST YEAR. I have a couple of pesky tests in the way, but all in all, we made it. We did it. Now, we become the slacker M4's!

The next giddy in our step: Match day!

People Are Crazy

So instead of a fa-la-la post on how much I hate/disdain/actually like a rotation, I'm going to share my thoughts on why Wal-Mart is the gathering ground for crazy people.

Note: this is completely based on a true story (aka the actual occurrences during my weekend outing).

Disclaimer: I usually shop at one of the *real* grocery stores in town, and buy my loose odds and ends at Target because they would otherwise be a bit pricey at the grocery store. However, my mom had a gift certificate to Wal-Mart and I decided to use it during my weekly grocery outing to save some bucks. So no, this is a once in a very blue moon with streaks of purple in it.

Observations:
People push their grocery carts like they drive.
Exhibit A: I was cruising by the milk on the way to the yogurt nook when I notice that this lady is riding my ass. Literally, her cart is about 4 in from my butt. I look around and notice that no, there are no other carts in the vicinity blocking her from steering around me and going about her merry way. She decides that the best place for her to be IS FOUR INCHES AWAY AND COMPLETELY INSIDE MY PERSONAL SPACE. I have a feeling she's a tail gaiter. Luckily me stopping in front of the Greek yogurt gave her the opportunity to steer around me and then stop about 3 yards away. typical. 
Exhibit B: I was coming around the corner of an isle when a lady going oh, 40mph slams  into my cart, then gives me the evil eye as if it was my fault. Luckily for her, there was no window for me to flip her the bird and shout profanities, as well as no horn attached to the middle of my cart handle. I need to look into installing car horns onto grocery carts. It helps with my road rage, maybe it'll help with apparent wal-mart shopping rage. Unfortunately, neither can remedy the stupidity that necessitates the existence of a horn.

Let's just say that there was more cluster-fuckery occuring, but I won't outline the complete circus that was my outing to wal-mart. Let's just say that I will now refuse to go to wal mart unless I have a gift certificate and even then, it may just be used on a DVD or some batteries.

On a brighter note, on to another week of peds wards. Not feeling the impulse to slit my wrists every morning is a new one for me. I'm actually enjoying my time. Although, the last encounter with residents has left me with a bad taste in my mouth, but they will get a very interesting evaluation from myself (let's just say no patients on the list+post call does not equal going home). Let's just hope my new sister team is the bomb. I'm hoping that the streak stays where all of them are awesome and I keep having this "waking up at 5 am isn't THAT bad when I get to see cute kids and work with nice residents" feeling.

Cheers!

Oh, and as always

 Kitty in a Basket!!!!

 

False Alarm

So wards taught me that Peds really isn't for me. (whew!). I realized I just love the kids. They are great. The math behind it all is not so much. I like math just fine, but calculating kcal/kg/day or meds gives me a headache. Pathology all the way! (as many of you guys have said since second year).

There is about 3 weeks left in 3rd year. It is awesome and scary both at the same time. I'm ready to get on with my career and start residency, but the process to get there seems very daunting right now. I'm sure I'll trudge along and get through it. Right now I just look at the task ahead and just heave a very large ::sigh:: I'm sure over the next few months I'll blog my way through personal statement, applications, interview and the finale: MATCH DAY (how SCARY is that guys???!!! it's going to be US in March!!!!!)

I guess I'll wander around maybe go study for my step 2. Today a friend and I went to the trail out by the Natchez trace. It was really nice! I plan to frequent the area more often (unfortunately I'll have to wait for another person or someone who will lend me their dog-I don't feel safe going by myself). yay for finding new things to do in Jacktown!

Here's Your Sign

I always find these things interesting, not that I put a lot of value on them, but funny nonetheless.

Some of it is kinda uncanny.

Scorpio is a Fixed Water sign, ruled by Pluto.  Before the discovery of Pluto, the ruling plant for this sign was Mars, and the two are more or less interchangeable with regard to the Scorpio personality, especially since the recent downgrade of Pluto from a full-blown planet to a "dwarf planet."  As the eighth sign of the zodiac, the Scorpio individual is an intense, intuitive, complex, determined soul who gives life his all, for better or worse.  Famous characters sharing this sign include Bill Gates (October 28), Prince Charles (November 14), and Charles Manson (November 12). 

Of all the signs of the zodiac, Scorpios are arguably the most recognizable due to their combination of straight-shooting directness, laser beam mental focus, and critical assessment.  Don't ask Scorpio if you don't want to know the unvarnished truth.  There's no sugar-coating whatsoever here, even if the truth is not pretty.  This tendency does not endear Scorpio to many of the other signs, who consider him overly critical - even hurtfully so.  However, by the same token,  when Scorpio gives you a compliment, it's not as a  condescending gesture, but rather a straight-out, honest assessment that you can indeed be proud of.  Although Scorpio generally performs well in social and work situations, he is most comfortable either alone or with the small circle of family and friends he is closest to.  This is not a sign that actively seeks out the company of others, preferring introversion rather than extroversion whenever possible.  Scorpio is fiercely self-reliant and will almost never seek out the advice of others, preferring to look to himself for his answers.   Although we generally don't comment on physical traits for the zodiac signs in these pages, it is worth noting that many, many Scorpios are noted for their penetrating eyes that make others feel uncomfortable (think Charlie Manson). 

For those with a Scorpio child, you have a kid with a deep emotional bond with you, but who is also quite capable of entertaining himself when you are not available with no hard feelings, especially if he has something interesting to do.  With his sharp mind and inquisitive nature, your little Scorpio will likely soak up knowledge in whatever form you provide it, be it television, books, puzzles, or whatever.  Because of their tendency to be rather introverted, Scorpio kids should be given special attention from time-to-time, as they may tend to get pushed aside by louder, more boisterous siblings - especially older ones.  Make no mistake, though - they  can and will defend themselves, and when angered, they will retaliate fiercely, usually in an unexpected way designed to cause the most damage.   Scorpio kids will appreciate one-on-one time with their parents, but generally won't feel comfortable talking about deeply personal issues.  Keeping it light and fun is a plus with these kids, with the knowledge that if something is really bothering them, they will find a way to let you know, though again, it might be in a roundabout way.  In school. Scorpio is smart enough to ace any of his studies, but he will only put effort into those things that interest him most.  His grades therefore will likely be uneven, though with his adversity for failure, he will likely make enough effort to squeak by in subjects he dislikes. 

Scorpio in the workplace is the one with the office full of odd decorations with either no chairs for visitors or one chair that is hidden in a dark corner.  You won't find Scorpio flitting around the water cooler looking for gossip, as he considers this a complete waste of time and energy.  Because of this, other people in the office will often comment that they think he is mean or unfriendly, and that they are unexplainably uncomfortable in his presence, although Scorpio himself considers his relationships with his co-workers as adequate.  The boss usually loves Scorpio because he is a low-maintenance, industrious worker who is able to completely focus on the task at hand.   The few select people who work more closely with Scorpio and have gotten past his exterior shell find him quite useful, often confiding in him about personal issues to get his honest, straightforward assessment.  Although he doesn't seem emotional or compassionate on the surface, Scorpio will be the one to initiate a fund drive for another employee who has fallen on hard times and needs help, and he will usually do so anonymously to avoid unwanted attention. 

If you have found a romantic partner in a Scorpio, you have a fiercely private, deeply feeling partner indeed.  You may have to get used to the fact that you will never know everything about your Scorpio, but rest assured that if he feels a strong connection to you, he will let you know what you need to know.  Indeed, if he didn't feel a strong connection to you, you wouldn't even be around!   Scorpio is very loyal and expects the same from you.  He is a highly intuitive individual, and will likely instinctively know what you need and want - a very good trait to have in a partner.  However, his intuition will also pick up on imperfections in the relationship, so don't be surprised if he zeros in and starts asking probing questions if you are trying to hide something from him.  It's going to be tough giving your Scorpio mate a surprise birthday party!

The best matches for Scorpio for sure are Cancer and Pisces, but Virgo, Leo, Capricorn, and Sagittarius might also work.  It will likely be tough going with another Scorpio,  Taurus, or Aries.

Scorpio in any relationship is smart and interesting, with surprising intuition.  He may seem quite critical, which is off-putting at times, but you can count on him for an honest assessment.   Don't go to him for sympathy, as he will tell you to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with it.  However, if you are in real trouble, he will likely sympathize and find resources to solve your problem, often in an unconventional way.  If you cross a Scorpio, depending on the circumstances, he may walk away for life, but if he doesn't, he will find a way to even the score to his satisfaction before resuming the friendship.  Despite these pitfalls, Scorpio as a friend has the potential to be one of the most loyal, intuitive, intelligent, nurturing, and helpful friends in the zodiac, so making the effort to dig a little deeper than you have to with other signs will likely provide you with rich rewards in the end!   

Some of that really does describe me, other stuff is meh, not so much.

Wards start Monday, I'm actually looking forward to it because it will tell me if I like peds in the way I think I do. Let's just say that my week of ambulatory made me go "hey, I like peds. HEY! this isn't supposed to happen! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE MY MIND" so we'll see. I'm thinking I'll hate wards and go running straight to the path dept. Or, I'll have to do a peds month between my two path months to figure it out.

Le sigh. No worries, I won't take anyone's spot at UMC if I decide to do peds :) (let's all hope I don't flip the last minute. Can you imagine the HEADACHE of trying to network at this point in time? sheesh.)