I'm Home

I take my Step2 CS on Monday and there's a mixed feeling of anticipation and excitement. I'm so terrified of failing this stupid thing, mainly because it's another grand I don't have. I'm excited to get it over with and not have to think about it ever again and have it behind me. I'm jealous of those who have already completed the exam, mainly because I've been having to study during my rotation.

All I have to say about my Path rotation is that I now know, with 100% conviction, that THIS is what I'm supposed to do with my life. I don't think anyone has seen a student squeal in excitement when a limb gets brought in fresh from one of the OR's. I of course cannot do what any of the residents do (what happened to all that histology I used to know? alas), but I just get so excited over everything. I love tumor board. I love unknown conference. I love biopsies. Just so awesome. I haven't done any autopsy or surg path yet (they organized us all it's funny) but I will after this week. So far I've had cytology and hemepath. I haven't enjoyed heme path quite as much as I wanted, but it still is fun. Such a fun game! "is this a blast, mono, or gran?" hahaha. yes. I have found my niche. Finally. Everyone keeps remarking on the stupid happy smile that has permanently adhered to my face. I just can't wait when I get to do it all day, every day. AND get paid.

Well, suppose I'm off to go and study some stupid cases. Can't wait for Monday to be over with.
Hope everyone is as happy as I am :)

Stigmata of the Brain

5 more days of study time left before I take Step 2. I seriously think my brain quit this bitch about Monday. Now whenever I try to read something I start staring at the pages and thinking of birds. If I try to push past the images of birds, I get the vague feeling my brain is beginning to liquefy in my skull, then tries to make it's escape through my eyeballs. So now I'm just left sitting with a book open, staring out a window/toward the wall/creepily at people with just the sound of crickets echoing in my head.

Onto better topics, I GET TO PUPPY SIT AGAIN! Yes, Red and Blue (my two favorite dogs in the whole world! I'm going to be sad when 4th year is over and I won't be able to come see them) for a whole 24 hours! I'm so excited. I missed the nighttime snuggles. Then tomorrow I start plant sitting for my future Surgeon friend. That'll last a whole week just about. Then THURSDAY is step, Friday is rehearsal dinner and Sat wedding of a dear college friend of mine. Then Sunday I leave for some adventure. either Dallas to visit Dr. Pathologist, or going to Pittsburgh with another friend of mine to crash her family vacay. Either way I'm getting AWAY from Jackson for a bit. Details on my adventure to follow.

So I suppose now I'm off to go and play with my buddies! I'm so happy! then maybe some more review and then MOVIE tonight. So excited. Hope everyone is enjoying their "vacation". See you on the flip side of crazy.

Mundane Ramblings

So I just finished my entire USMLE World question bank. And I still feel unprepared for this stupid test. There is something very scary for me, thinking that the results of this ONE test can have such a big influence on my career. It makes me sick thinking about it. Hopefully I just do better on 2 than I did on 1. My real goal is to improve my score about 40 points (but I know that's unrealistic), but we'll see. I always try to shoot for the stars.

I have had very few mental breakdowns, possibly because my study effort this time around is less than optimal. Although I did have a rough couple of days that involved public indecency, the fiancee of an ex, and just plain annoying family members. I appreciate all my friends who put up with me when I have my little breakdowns (and sometimes my ethanol-induced ramblings).Otherwise it's study, study, study. Nothing too exciting in my life right now.

World cup is in full swing, and I am so upset because this whole step thing is putting a damper into my soccer watching! I usually make it a point to watch 3 countries: Italy (the motherland), England, and Spain (my favorite team). Italy actually plays the day I take step and I'm sad. Now, I know a lot of people think that just because it's world cup I'm watching soccer. I've actually been a soccer fan all my life. unfortunately, I never was allowed to play on an organized team, but I've always enjoyed it. I like the intricate team plays and the teamwork necessary to score a goal. The athleticism in these men is just extraordinary and most times I am just in awe of the superb work (no, I don't drool over their physique. That's why I watch rugby :) ). As I realize most people watch world cup just because "omg it's world cup you're stupid if you don't watch!", I watch it because I actually like the sport. I wish the US was as supportive of soccer as other countries. I honestly don't think we belong in the world cup, but that's a different rant.

Anyway, I'm off to go read or maybe just take the night off (which has been occuring almost every night. oops.) Good luck to everyone! Hope step 2 will be better.

Cheers!

Seasoned

So far it's been a wonderful few post-board days. I was adventurous this morning and decided to go to one of the local parks to stretch my legs. Mainly because the school gym doesn't open until 1, but I also wanted to start getting outside more. I do love me some outdoors! Unfortunately I couldn't get my stupid Ipod-nike sensor working so I had to do without. Special kid over here had to come home and figure out how to get it into un-sleep mode ( I put it in sleep mode before boards knowing I wouldn't be using it for a few weeks and tried to save some battery power). I did get a good 3 miles of mostly walk. My run ended quickly with a massive side stitch that still refuses to go away. I guess the boards inflict more than just mental anguish. alas.

Tomorrow begins STEP 2 lockdown. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I once again trudge up to campus and lock myself away in one of those classrooms to toil away at NBME practice tests, First Aid facts, and USMLE world questions until my eyeballs fall out. However, I am going to try and preserve my sanity by getting out most days to go for a walk or something. It really does help with those natural endorphins and happy neurotransmitters. I also have to get my bridesmaid dress on my body (oops) and then down to a seamstress for tailoring (double oops) so I can  be ready to go the day after my step for my friend's wedding (triple ooops!) So that can offer a good break NEXT.WEEK so I can get that done.

I hope all of my fellow classmates are enjoying some well deserved time off. I'm pretty sad knowing that I won't be seeing some of my old groupmates anymore. As we all depart our separate ways, I know that for those who are closest we'll have to make some real effort to still get together. It's also crazy to think that this time, last year, we were new, fresh, and still had some spunk. Now wise in our post M3-ness, I see how we all have turned into the M4's that we once looked up to in awe thinking "omg how do they know to do that? how do they know so much? omg they are SO.SMART". That is now us, folks. It's amazing what we all have learned and endured in the past year. Cheers to US! I can also tell that I'm not as freaked out about STEP 2 as I was about STEP 1. Some of that I believe comes from the experience of living through (and surviving) STEP 1. Now I'm just approaching this test as a pesky hurdle standing between me and my Pathology rotation in july. Again, amazing what a year does.

With that, I'm going to lay down and rot my brain with some online cable TV. I'll see everyone on the flip side, or at least with the "I can't take it anymore" sanity posts that I'm sure will be making an appearance later.

Good luck to all taking STEP 2, STEP 1, and anything in between.

...between is a funny looking word if you really look at it....

Ow.

So after a good 6 hours of studying today, my head is killing me. I'm craving carbs, and alcohol. I think my brain forgot what it means to study. Ow.

In other things, I went to the farmer's market with my hypochondriac-ish friend and found some wonderful finds. I got some local honey that is "creamed". It doesn't have cream in it, but something with the crystallization of it (i didn't get a good explaination at the time) makes it look "creamy". And it has cinnamon infused in it. Let's say it's amazing with oatmeal in the mornings. also found where you can buy half a lamb, half a cow, and goat (yes, GOAT). Not to mention some of the creamiest goat cheese I've had in a while. Just goodness all around! I'm glad I went, because it was something fun and I got to see where they moved it (I remember the farmer's market being behind the U in the train platform type of things).

Also, I had time to read while on my peds rotation. I completed The House of God and also Laughing in the Dark by Chonda Pierce. The House of God was not as good as everyone made it out to be. Overall, I would rate it 7/10 due to lack of realism, lack of actual medicine, and too much sex/preoccupation with boobs. Laughing in the Dark seemed more of a journal than an actual book. I found it lacking any substance and more of a "pour your heart out and see all of the terrible troubles poor little me went through". Also, there was no clear resolution. I give it a 4/5. Just because as she's a comedian, there were some funny parts.

Well, I suppose it's about that time to pop about 4 ibuprofen and resume my USMLE world question bank. I don't think I'll finish my questions by the internal medicine board, but I can try. As of right now my head is screaming in pain, i may just lay down and call it a night. Hope all is well with everyone else in blog-land.