Gossip Whore

Ok, so one of my many guilty pleasures is reading online celebrity gossip. I know, how estrogen filled is that? BUT, in my defense, it gives me a reason to laugh. And sometimes, it makes me feel smart. And these days, I need something to make me feel smart. Because studying for step SURE as hell doesn't.

Ok, so with that said, I have to join in on the celebrity gossip/cutdown and channel the guy from D-listed.

Why in the hell would ANYONE think this is appropriate in public? When your dad is a washed up over-bleached balding mullet wrestler from the 80's and your mom looks like she walked straight off the tranny train, why in the world do you think anyone would want to see this?! Look, I'm not stranger to thick girls. I've pretty much been overweight all my life. Plus, I'm short and stocky. So I understand that some of us are just built like linebackers. I realize that this girl is tall and thick. BUT THAT DOES NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD WEAR A SPORTS BRA AND WORKOUT PANTS IN PUBLIC. This girl needs a firm slap with the fashion stick. I wanna see her ass on "What Not to Wear" so Stacy and Clint-un can slap her upside the head and put her in clothes. And no, epidermis doesn't count as clothing!

When you are a public figure and walk around like this, yes the paparazzi will photograph you. Yes they will write about how fat you are and say mean things. Yes, you brought it on yourself and no, you don't need to whine/cry/blame society.

Ok, now moving away from celebrities. There is this girl that I know from highschool that has a blog. And every now and then, I would read it to keep up with her. We weren't best friends or anything, but I was good friends with her two older brothers growing up and I liked to semi-keep up. She got knocked up in college and subsequently haphazardly threw together what we in the south like to call a "shotgun wedding". Something must have happened to her during childbirth, because her head has now securely become wedged up her naive ass where she lives in a world where she thinks her shit doesn't stink. All she does is bitch about how little time she has now that she is responsible for a human being, how hard nursing school is and how much more she knows than the medical students, how not getting a job at the VA is some sign from Jesus that she needs to open up her own craft/baby clothing store instead of working as a student nurse, or how her mom (who lets her married ex-knocked up immature child stay with her for free under her roof) is just so negative and she needs to move out because it's not working for her or her husband.

First off, this child needs to be hit with the REALITY stick of how fortunate she is. She also needs to be put in her place about her apparent superior knowledge on everything medical compared to doctors. She needs a large dose of shut the fuck up followed by a grow up booster. If she wanted to open up her own business, she should have gone to business school. Last time I checked nursing school didn't give you a window of opportunity to open up your own business. And...you're smarter than a doctor, right? Besides, her little craft projects and "awesome" paintings look like 8th grade projects. I think my 4 year old niece could spit out the same quality in artwork as this girl. She also needs to stop bitching about how hard being a mother and a wife is and realize that it's not playing house like 8 year olds think it is. She should have thought about all that before she had sexy times with her boyfriend with no protection and getting knocked up. Dumbass.


Kate Gosselin. She needs to join Brooke Hogan on What Not to Wear but bypass the clothing and go straight to hair. Nick Arrojo will probably just shave it all off and giver a wig. I think that's what needs to happen. It seriously looks like she fell asleep on the couch and her 8 children thought it would be funny to cut mommy's hair. Because that seriously looks like one of the haircuts I gave my barbies back when I was 5. And with her new found shrew attitude, no wonder rumors of infedelity are flying. Because your husband would quit you faster than you could tell if you became a swirling cesspool of narcissism. Also, having his nuts in a cock-block vice doesn't help either.

Ok, so that was my fun study break of the night. Sorry to be so catty and gossip like, but they all deserve it. Maybe next time I'll talk about the OTHER girl I went to high school with that has now decided that she can explain all drug effects, actions, and side effects because she's a stay at home mom and has a pharmacist husband and the power of pro-life on her side.

UGH!

Happy Step everyone.