So for all of you outside the medicine world, it's Sept 3. Meaning I've had 3 full days to submit my residency application to various institutions. And I'm.Too.Chicken. I've spent the last 4 years building up to this moment.. And it's like "this is it?". It's exciting and terrifying. I'm absolutely terrified at this moment. Mainly because it's stressful thinking that I could still get turned down. I thought we were done with that point in our lives! Why am I still having to compete and vie for a position now? I have a passion! I have a drive! I have the career that is perfect for me! Ugh, I think my hair may be falling out. I'm giving myself until Monday. Monday will be last day to submit. Of course not everyone is privy to the Path residency application issue this year. There is a possibility there will be 7 (SEVEN) people doing path this year. 1. I think this is GREAT. I think everyone should do path because it is the best specialty EVER 2. Oh s*@#& there are only 2 spots here. What if it's that competitive everywhere this year? What if I don't get in anywhere? What if I have to scramble? What if I scramble into anything BUT path.
See why I'm stressed?
Other than that I'm on my clinical path rotation. I'm loving it so far! I'm on blood bank this week, and I got to tour the local blood services place. it was amazing! I could see myself doing blood bank one day. Totally cool. When I get back from the long weekend I get to follow a bag of blood from collection to recipient (kinda, as much as the med school can do). HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! I was honestly a little reserved about the clinical side, thinking I wouldn't enjoy it as much as anatomic. Now I'm sure I'm going to enjoy getting AP/CP trained.. woo!
I also enjoy being back at the "U". I've been away at the family medicine clinics doing my ambulatory rotation. I was so removed from everyone! I got lonely at times eating lunch by myself. Kinda sad. But now I have people to eat with. Even though I'm feeling a bit withdrawn, I think it'll be ok. I"m afraid that my neurosis about applications is coming off as "I'm rubbing it all in your face" instead of "I'm freaking out and need someone to tell me it's ok". Ugh, I hate this.
Ok, well, I'm going to go watch more of "I love the 80's" (ok, seriously, best decade ever! I'm thinking of wearing my hair totally 80's from now on now that it's long enough) and maybe lay in bed and watch a movie. Tomorrow entails laundry and gym and sleeping. Yes. Perfect weekend.
1 comment:
I panicked when I sent mine in. Relief set in later, but there was definitely some "oh shit-ness" going on.
Post a Comment