Smitten

Hematopathology this week. Been working with one of the docs I asked for a rec letter. Hopefully I've stepped up my game and I'll get a good one. I'm even doing a presentation at end of the month conference on Hemoglobin SC disease (two letters, you'd appreciate this one!). I'm kinda pumped, and trying REALLY hard to make sure I don't have a really long talk. I want to go into sickle cell and just plain hemoglobin C disease, but that can't happen. They told me to keep it under 10 min. I think I can do that if I talk fast (which I usually do when I'm nervous). Right now it's looking like about 10-15 slides so I should make it. I believe I'm completely smitten with this idea of being a pathology professor one day. I've really enjoyed coming up with a presentation.

So I'm absolutely loving CP. Have I mentioned that lately? haha. Oh, and the interview invites have started, mainly with a lot of the East Coast programs (which is what I was told to suspect according to SDN) and a select few southern programs have sent me the email "we're reviewing your application and you should heard from us starting by this date". So it's exciting! Hopefully I'll have a job in path by March 17th!

I believe that I shall be jinxing myself, but you know how the minute you swear off guys, and plan to be single then start looking after "residency settles in a routine", is the minute you find someone?

Yeah, guess who that happened to.

But that's all I'm saying about that.

Off to look up some numbers and google photos for my presentation.

Coagulation/Chemistry has been what's up this week. It hasn't been bad, but not the most hoppin' service either. Mainly just wait around for consults. Plus, the dept is getting accredited this month, so everyone is in a tizzy to do all their paperwork and to makes sure everything is up to snuff.

Coag is the other part of path (besides cytopath) that has patient interaction. I went on 2 consults. One was straight forward, the other was a bit more complicated. For some reason the pt really liked to talk to me. Lucky me. I know his head hurt, and it's frustrating when nothing takes away the pain, but 1. I can't do anything for that, especially write for any painkillers seeing how I'm still a student 2. when you describe the pain occuring/worsening when looking INTO THE SUN, here's a novel idea: don't do that. ugh. he was nice tho, and I hope all goes well with him.

I got my application turned in (woo!) and even got an interview request (double woot!). So I'm pretty pumped. I spent all day yesterday suit shopping and may have even found one. I also had to order some nice and unfortunately very expensive shoes. They are much needed, but still. I never thought I'd pay that much for shoes. Since I have such small messed up hobbit feet, they had to special order me a small size. Yeah, i hate my feet.

I'm also out of the house for a while (yay!) as I house sit for my friend. Her dog is strange as it's petrified of people, but then will randomly come up to me and lick my feet/calves/hand. But don't you dare try to pet him! It's like you came at him with a baseball bat. Silly dog, he's a rescue so I dunno guess he had some traumatizing events as a young one.

This weekend has been fun. Random thing: Friday during lunch I thought I saw one of my old friends at the U (most random place EVER for him to be btw). Eventually we recognized each other. We even hung out Fri night and I saw another old friend as well. It was SO nice catching up with both of them. One just moved back to town, the other has been around and finally got a job he enjoys. We went out on a boat and spent a bunch of time catching up and just having fun. I always forget how much I miss people until I actually get to see them. It's so easy for me to get lost in school, responsibilities, and everything else that I just so easily lose touch with people. It's never on purpose, just happens when I get so focused on one thing (mainly my career) that unfortunately people just get lost in the wake. But I'm so happy I got to catch up and see them. I'll have to make it a point to make sure I keep my end up and stay in touch. I love both of those guys so much! It was definitely the highlight of my week (maybe a tie with my interview invitation).

So with that I'm going to hang out, perhaps watch another movie (genius here watched 2 scary movies then realized I'm in a house, by myself, with a dog that refuses to get in the bed with me and make me feel safe. I either 1. need to find a guy friend that's not opposed to coming and cuddling with me under such circumstances or 2. Steal Red or Blue from my fellow pathfriend.

Oh, and Two Letter: I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR HOT DATE! :)

Done!

30 programs and lots of money later, I am officially a AP/CP pathology categorical applicant!

Wish me luck. I'm going to go and find somewhere to vomit.

ERAS makes me have the sads

So for all of you outside the medicine world, it's Sept 3. Meaning I've had 3 full days to submit my residency application to various institutions. And I'm.Too.Chicken.  I've spent the last 4 years building up to this moment.. And it's like "this is it?". It's exciting and terrifying. I'm absolutely terrified at this moment. Mainly because it's stressful thinking that I could still get turned down. I thought we were done with that point in our lives! Why am I still having to compete and vie for a position now? I have a passion! I have a drive! I have the career that is perfect for me! Ugh, I think my hair may be falling out. I'm giving myself until Monday. Monday will be last day to submit. Of course not everyone is privy to the Path residency application issue this year. There is a possibility there will be 7 (SEVEN) people doing path this year. 1. I think this is GREAT. I think everyone should do path because it is the best specialty EVER 2. Oh s*@#& there are only 2 spots here. What if it's that competitive everywhere this year? What if I don't get in anywhere? What if I have to scramble? What if I scramble into anything BUT path.

See why I'm stressed?

Other than that I'm on my clinical path rotation. I'm loving it so far! I'm on blood bank this week, and I got to tour the local blood services place. it was amazing! I could see myself doing blood bank one day. Totally cool. When I get back from the long weekend I get to follow a bag of blood from collection to recipient (kinda, as much as the med school can do). HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! I was honestly a little reserved about the clinical side, thinking I wouldn't enjoy it as much as anatomic. Now I'm sure I'm going to enjoy getting AP/CP trained.. woo!

I also enjoy being back at the "U". I've been away at the family medicine clinics doing my ambulatory rotation. I was so removed from everyone! I got lonely at times eating lunch by myself. Kinda sad. But now I have people to eat with. Even though I'm feeling a bit withdrawn, I think it'll be ok. I"m afraid that my neurosis about applications is coming off as "I'm rubbing it all in your face" instead of "I'm freaking out and need someone to tell me it's ok". Ugh, I hate this.

Ok, well, I'm going to go watch more of "I love the 80's"  (ok, seriously, best decade ever! I'm thinking of wearing my hair totally 80's from now on now that it's long enough) and maybe lay in bed and watch a movie. Tomorrow entails laundry and gym and sleeping. Yes. Perfect weekend.

And I run

I run so far awaaaaay.

I'm doing better after my little rant. I think people just get too wound up with stereotypes and their own personal opinions and don't see the forest for the trees. I'm sorry for anyone who was in the wake of my rage. No worries, I'm still doing pathology no doubts.

Anywhoo, clinic has been entertaining this week. My favorite was the Dilaudid druggie who ran (literally RAN) out of clinic when security was called. We just wanted him to leave, but I suppose he thought he was going to be arrested. his story as to why he's had multiple doctors write him Rx's and had them filled at multiple pharmacies was that his identical twin brother stole his identity. Priceless. I have a deep, seething hate for drug addicts. At the same time I have a pity for them as well. Mainly, we'll get you help, but I don't appreciate your crap. Give it up. I also have the power of a very confrontational personality on my side.

I'm looking forward to next month. I'll be back in the path dept. i'm not looking forward to sending my application (it's almost Sept ALREADY?!) and asking for the last few rec letters. My meeting with the dept chair went well, and he enthusiastically agreed to write me a letter. I really do love the path chair. He's an amazing teacher and so supportive. I wanted to give him a hug, but I feel that it would have made the whole meeting awkward. I'll be getting my second path letter sometime next week, and I need to find someone to get me a letter from another dept. My medicine attending hasn't answered back, but I may get one from the family medicine people. I've got 26 places on my list right now. I think I exhausted all the places where I'd be ok living for the next 4 years.

Enough of talking about things that make me want to drink.

Joined a local gym (again) today because 1. the school gym stinks and 2. school gym parking stinks worse. I didn't like the fact I had to wait until 5 pm every day in order to park by the gym. Or anywhere near the gym. I'm pretty disgruntled by the parking situation at UMC anyway. Although, I'm excited about Spin class. I've always wanted to try it, and they have one at 530 pm on weekdays. I'm definitely going to try to go tomorrow. Hopefully I'll survive! haha. I gotta get more serious about my whole new year's resolution to run a 5k this year. Maybe the Blues 5k in December?

Catch you on the flip side.

Pity Party

I'm just going to take a minute and whine about my life. Why is it that the ONE year I'm applying for residency everyone and their mother wants to freaking do path? I mean, NO ONE did it last year. Now there's a guaranteed FOUR people doing it. WHY ME? And I'm getting pretty fed up with people telling me that I'm too not socially retarded to do path. I should do medicine. Ugh. Fine. I'll tell patients how I really feel, sit and look at you with a "you're an idiot" face and then fail to respond appropriately to any questions. Will that make everyone ELSE feel better about me doing path? ugh. And don't get me started on my residency application. My CV is as fluffed as it's going to be. No, I didn't win who's who for medical school, or get some fancy award. I'm a vanilla (literally) average run of the mill student. I'm sure the same 5 people are getting all the awards, just like it was in high school and undergrad. And I'm sorry I didn't make a 270 on Step 1. And  score still isn't good enough and puts me below average for pathology. Meaning I should apply for 30 or so programs, to make sure I can rank no less than 8 (preferably 11) programs. Which, if EVERYONE didn't decide to do path, I wouldn't be in this situation anyway.

F my life.

Can you tell my dean's meeting wasn't what I expected?

In other news, I'm still chugging along with my Family Medicine clinic rotation. It's my last week at one clinic, then i'll be switching and going to the other. I'm also in the business of trying to get rec letters. I have a meeting with the dept chair tomorrow, and I'm kinda freaking out about it (and not in the good way). I still have to decide who all I want to ask within the path and other depts. My personal statement is crap and my personal life is crap.

More importantly, I need a vacation.

Hope all is well with everyone else. About to head to preggo's shower then out with some friends for mexican. Margaritas fix everything.

And, before I leave, let me just share something with you all that never fails to leave me smiling:

KITTY ALMOST IN A BAG!

KITTY IN A CAVE!

KITTY IN A CHAIR! (about to attack)