Juggling Really Sharp Knives

Right now there's some Eastern European doctor lecturing about nephrology. I can't understand him and he talks about two shades over a whisper. So I'm doing my internetting.

So this weekend my USMLE world opened up. I was doing ok when I was picking the subjects I liked...embryology, histology, genetics. But when I went to the random questions from all subjects, then I started getting depressed. I guess I'm not that bad off considering I haven't looked at first year materials yet. Plus, I still have time.

I'm over psychiatry. Give me my 70 and fuck off. I don't care anymore. I'm also over test block, and I hate pharmacology with a passion. I'm tired of memorizing drugs. Prev med is ok and biostats is growing on me. I love pathology so it doesn't bother me much. I'm ready to be an M3. I'm tired of sitting and rotting behind a computer screen.

I'm anxious about 3rd year schedules. I really don't care about the order. I'll have to do it all eventually. I just hope hope hope I get in with a good group. I wrote down all the people I'd rather not have to deal with next year, and it came up to 20 people. Some were a total NO, others were a they're not so bad but I'd just rather not. So worst case scenerio, I get 14 of those 20 in a group. And I just have to swap. Or, best case, my praying will work out and I'll get in with a good group. Cross your fingers for wed!

My lent list is growing. I've decided to stop the dessert desserts. Like cookies, cake, ice cream...that stuff. I have a horrible sweet tooth and the past week that's all I've wanted. I really need to get a grip. So this will help with my self control. Even though I'm starting late, I don't think The Big Guy minds. haha.

Also, my running regimen is going well. I came down with a cold during my first official week, and took about 3 days off. So I just repeated the first week again. So I'm a week behind the estimated schedule, but I'm ok with that. I'll start my second week today and it looks tough. Even though, I'm really excited about being able to one day call myself a runner. I've always wanted to. I'm starting to just go for things I've always wanted instead of letting excuses and pre-conceived notions of myself stop me anymore.

I feel like I don't see anyone anymore. Between everything academically and now trying to fit in gym and running, I've become very selfish with my time. It's like with everything going on, I'm constantly juggling everything. Although, I like my me time. I miss my friends. I hope no one takes offense and realize that once step is over, and hopefully pass, the hospital may eat me but I should have weekends off. I keep trying to tell myself it'll get better. As of right now, it has. Oh well, long live the nerd hole!